


They'll Think Of You Even When You're Gone.

by HonestlyDontKnow



Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Heart Attacks, Rush has had better days, Terminal Illnesses, funerals in space, heart failure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4534113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonestlyDontKnow/pseuds/HonestlyDontKnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ship and its crew were silent as Nicholas Rush was buried so very far away from earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They'll Think Of You Even When You're Gone.

__Rush was in the mess hall, listening to the briefing that was currently taking place. Drones were gone, the blue/purple/silver aliens chasing Destiny shouldn't be turning up anytime soon and they were in a new galaxy. Park was listing the problems with the FTL drive from a three year jump when a horrible pain shot through the left side of his chest. He gave a pained gasp and his right hand was clutching his shirt over his heart. He staggered as his heart continued to jolt painfully until he passed out.

Young watched as Rush fell to the floor like a ragdoll, his whole body going limp. Scott got to him first, checking his pulse. Young knelt down beside him.  
"I think he had a heart attack, sir." Scott said as Park radioed TJ. Young sighed. That was the last thing Rush - anyone - needed in space.  
"Help me get him to the infirmary, Scott." Young said, moving to grab Rush's legs. Scott nodded and grabbed under Rush's arms. Together they lifted Rush off the floor and carried him to the infirmary.

Rush woke up seven hours later. TJ was by his side, smiling down at him.  
"Hey, you're awake." She said and he nodded, sitting up slowly.  
"What happened?" He asked, throat dry. She handed him a cup of water which he drank gratefully. He set it down next to him and looked at TJ, who's smile had been replaced by a look of sadness.  
"You had a heart attack, Rush." She said quietly.  
"If you're going to lecture me about diets and exercise, there's a small problem." He said, trying to joke but it fell flat instantly. Heart attack? He didn't want to know what was happening to him.  
"There's nothing I can do, Rush." He closed his eyes, suspicions confirmed.  
"I have heart failure, don't I?" He opened his eyes to see TJ nodding. He let out a shuddering breath.  
"How - how long?" She gave small shrug.  
"It's difficult to tell out here. It could be months, years even." She said and he gave a sigh.  
"You know what I mean," Rush said, looking away from her.  
"With the amount of work you do each day, the less sleep you get and the amount and way of food right now I'd say four to five months." He brought his hands to his face and TJ placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "You're okay for now." She whispered. Pulling his hands away from his face he looked at her again.  
"The symptoms, please." He said, voice cracking a little. She gave him a horrified look but continued.  
"You'll get breathless easily, extremely tired and possibly ankle swelling that will get worse throughout the day. You may end up having a persistent cough, lack of appetite, weight loss and tachycardia." She said slowly, clearly getting upset. Rush nodded and closed his eyes. "You may end up with anxiety and or depression if you struggle to cope with it." Rush gave a short, flat laugh.  
"Can't afford that out here, can I?"  
"You should get some rest, Rush. You've had a serious heart attack."  
"Could you keep this quiet for a while?" He asked. She looked at him, shocked that he had asked such a thing. "Just for a little while, please?" TJ nodded and he lied back down.

It was a month before other people noticed his breathlessness and tiredness. Park was the first to notice it. In fact she pointed it out on the bridge, in front of Colonel Young.  
"Are you okay, Rush? You seem tired and out of breath." She said and Rush nodded, trying to control his breathing.  
"I'm fine, Park. I'm absolutely fine."

He wasn't fooling anyone.

He sat in the observation deck at about twenty two hundred hours when Young came in and sat next to him.  
"How are you?" Young asked and Rush eyed him cautiously.  
"I'm fine, Colonel Young." He said, looking away from him.  
"Don't give me that, Rush. Everyone knows you're not alright. You had a heart attack five weeks ago and you've clearly still got some chest pain going on and Park was right last week - about the breathlessness and tiredness. So, what's wrong with you? You've gotten worse." Young said and Rush stood up, making a move to leave but Young grabbed his arm and stopped him suddenly. "I'm being serious, Rush. Tell me what's wrong." Rush looked at him, having an internal debate on telling him or not.  
"I don't want to talk about it, Colonel Young." Rush said, pulling his arm free. Young stood up and was in front of him before he could reach the door.  
"Rush." His voice was cold and stern. Rush sighed.  
"Colonel Young, I do not want to talk about it with you so if you could just-" His heart gave a jolt of pain and he doubled over dangerously, his hand clutching the shirt over his offending heart.  
"Rush!" Young was trying to steady him but he was certain he was about to have another heart attack as more pain attacked him and he collapsed in Young's arms.

Young laid Rush down on the ground, checking his pulse while radioing TJ. Rush's pulse was abnormally rapid.  
"TJ, get to the observation deck, now! Rush may have just had another heart attack." He said into the radio. TJ arrived in five minutes, telling Young to move out of the way as she did everything a medic would do in that situation.  
Young sat in his quarters, waiting for TJ. Rush had just had another heart attack. A pretty bad one, it seemed. There was a knock on his door and the door opened to reveal TJ and Wray.  
"Come on in," TJ and Wray walked in slowly as he pressed the button and the door slid shut. Young turned to TJ.  
"So what's wrong with him?" TJ took a deep breath.  
"Doctor Rush has heart failure, sir." TJ said.  
"What?" Wray said, looking shocked.  
"And how long has he been hiding it?" Young asked, pissed that Rush or TJ hadn't told him.  
"Since his first heart attack."  
"And you didn't tell anyone?" Young asked, anger bubbling in his chest. That had been five weeks ago. Rush or TJ should have told him sooner.  
"He asked me not to, sir. So I didn't." TJ said, folding her arms across her chest defensively.  
"How long does he have left?" Wray asked.  
"Roughly about four months now. Maybe three." Young watched as Wray's eyes widened.  
"Most people have at least a year, lieutenant."  
"Most people can receive treatment to prolong the effects on earth."  
  
Rush was released a week later. He was, however, not allowed to work for another two days. He was heading to the mess hall when Chloe came up to him.  
"Hey, Rush. Good see you're out of the infirmary. What happened?" She asked, sounding genuinely concerned.  
"Another heart attack." Chloe stopped walking and stared at him.  
"You had another heart attack? I'm pretty sure that is not, on any scale, healthy." Rush rolled his eyes and stopped.  
"You're not okay, are you? I have a feeling you haven't been since before the first heart attack." Rush closed his eyes and nodded.  
"You're right, Chloe. I'm not aright and I never will be again." He said, tears prickling behind his eyes. He couldn't do this. He was dying and only three people knew and now he was on the verge of crying. Chloe gave him an awkward hug.  
"It's going to be okay, Rush. I'm sure TJ will figure something out." He pulled away to face the wall, shaking his head.  
"The only thing that can help me now is a transplant, Chloe." Chloe came up again beside him, blurred by the tears that were coming slowly out of his eyes.  
"Oh, god. What - what's wrong?" She sounded like she wasn't expecting him to say that.  
"Heart failure, I have heart failure." She hugged him again and he hugged back.  
  
Two months later he couldn't even get to the door of his quarters without becoming so tired and breathless. He had lost a lot of weight, his clothes practically hanging from him. He took a deep breath as he staggered to the wall, placing a hand on it to steady himself. By now the whole ship knew he was dying. When he had gathered his strength he continued walking to the door and opened it, walking sluggishly down the corridor before falling to the floor. He was absolutely exhausted. He took as much air in as his lungs would allow and managed to sit up, back supported by the wall. He heard footsteps coming around the corner and sighed in relief when he saw Chloe and Matt, holding hands and talking. That was until Chloe saw him.  
"Oh my god, Rush!" She was at his side in a second, her fingers pressed against his wrist, finding his pulse. "Matt, help me get him to his quarters."  
"Chloe, I'm fine. I just needed to stop for a minute." He rasped, the lie becoming clear immediately.  
"Bullshit, your pulse is through the roof." Chloe said as she and Matt gently grabbed his arms and eased him off the floor.  
  
Getting him back to his quarters and in bed took over forty minutes. Matt had called TJ and Chloe was helping Rush sit up slowly.  
"Honestly, Chloe, I'm fine." Rush said, attempting to get up. Chloe pushed him back into a sitting position.  
"You're not going anywhere until TJ clears you." Speaking of TJ, she walked through the door. Rush sighed, breathing heavily. Chloe turned to TJ. "We found him sitting in the corridor. I checked his pulse then, it was so fast I couldn't keep count of it." Chloe said.  
  
He had gotten so much worse that TJ had confined him to his quarters with Chloe for assistance. She would help him get to the chair so he wasn't lying in bed all the time and feed him. Eli or Brody, sometimes both if he was having a bad day, would help him get to the bathroom and shower stalls. Right now, though, he was trying not to cry. Chloe had become extremely upset when they found he couldn't get up even with assistance. His heart couldn't take it. When they had tried, he had passed out for a few minutes before Chloe managed to bring him around. Speaking of Chloe, she sat next to him on the bed.  
"You've become like a dad to me in the past few years, Rush." He looked at her. "You were the only one that truly understood what it was like when those aliens kidnapped me." Rush managed with great difficulty to grab her hand and start stroking it gently.  
"And I see you as a daughter, Chloe." He whispered. Chloe stared at him. "Sometimes I wonder, if I ever had a child, if they would turn out to be like you." He let his head fall back against the pile of pillows they were using to allow him to sit.  
"I probably shouldn't ask this, but what happened? To your wife?" Chloe asked, unsure of whether or not he would respond.  
"She died of cancer two and half years before all this." His breath caught in his throat as he coughed, wheezed and coughed again. Chloe wiped his mouth with a cloth.  
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Eli should be here soon with lunch." She said, trying to change the conversation. As she spoke, the door slid open and Eli walked in carrying two bowls of protein mix and spoons.  
"Hey," he said, trying to sound his annoying self but failing. "I brought you guys lunch." He handed a bowl to Chloe and set another one on the bed. Chloe picked up the spoon and started to slowly feed Rush. After two spoonfuls Rush spoke.  
"I can't," he said, "I'm sorry, but I can't." Chloe looked at him brokenly.  
"Just three more spoonfuls, Rush. For me, please?" Chloe said, giving him puppy dog eyes. He sighed.  
"I'll try."  
  
Brody watched as Eli entered the bridge, looking depressed.  
"How's Rush?" Young asked and Eli shook his head.  
"He couldn't eat all of his lunch." Young shot him a look that suggested Rush could but wouldn't. "Hey, I was there. Watching him. He could barely manage five spoonfuls, which was the most Chloe managed to coax him into eating." Eli said.  
"How long do you think he has?" Brody asked and Eli stared at him.  
"A week at most." Young sighed.  
"He's not even dead and I miss him already." Brody said and Young gave a small laugh.  
"Yeah, me too."  
  
Young had decided to visit Rush in his quarters, so he found himself standing next to Rush's bed, staring down at him. Rush was paler than Young could ever remember seeing him. From he could tell, Rush had lost too much weight from everything that was going on.  
"Hey," Young said, watching Rush breathe loudly.  
"Hey," barely a whisper.  
"How are you?" Stupid question.  
"I'm okay," Rush wheezed as if talking exhausted him. "Don't go overboard."  
"What?" Young didn't know what Rush was talking about. Rush coughed once before speaking again.  
"The funeral, don't go overboard." Chloe, who was sitting in the chair in the other end of the room, started crying. Young turned to look at her wiping her eyes. "Look after her, Colonel Young." Rush said, drawing Young's attention back to him.  
"I will, Nicholas. I'll look after her for you." Young said, taking one of Rush's hands in his own. Rush blinked tiredly and Young realised Rush was forcing himself to stay awake.  
"Do me one favour, Young." Rush wheezed and Young nodded. "When, if, you get back to earth, could you lay some flowers on Gloria's grave for me?" Chloe sobbed behind them.  
"I will, I promise you I will." Rush suddenly arched his back, a strangled cry coming from his mouth, and he fell limp on the bed. His eyes were closed and he was no longer breathing. "Rush?" Young let go of the limp hand in his and gently shook Rush's shoulders. "Rush? Rush!" Chloe came over to him and checked Rush pulse, shaking her head at him.  
"He's gone, Colonel." She cried and he hugged her.  
  
The next forest planet they came across was where they had Rush's funeral. In the moment they buried him, the ship and its crew were silent as Nicholas Rush was buried so very far away from earth.


End file.
